Crucified Hearts

“At every moment you choose yourself. But do you choose your self? Body and soul contain a thousand possibilities out of which you can build many I’s. But in only one of them is there a congruence of the elector and the elected. Only one—which you will never find until you have excluded all those superficial and fleeting possibilities of being and doing with which you toy, out of curiosity or wonder or greed, and which hinder you from casting anchor in the experience of the mystery of life, and the consciousness of the talent entrusted to you which is your I.”

– Dag Hammarskjöld, Markings, p.19

Here are a few quotes to consider about the identity of self through a Christian lens, some things about our ever-changing identity in relation to others and to God.

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image…”
Gen. 1.26

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children…”
— Ephesians 5:1

“What we all need is authenticity of being, that we live in accord with our true selves, not just the self we think we want to be but the self God calls us to be. Knowing who we are is not something we acquire by ourselves. We know ourselves only by knowing our God. Knowing ourselves is less important than knowing who made us, calls us, goes with us, and knows us. Peace cannot be found anywhere else.”

Klyne R. Snodgrass

“Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”
— 1 John 3:2-3

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”
— 1 Peter 1:14-16

“Here is the really crucial point. You do choose yourself, even though it is only in the context of the givens of your life. Yes, there is the huge debate about your ability to choose, the limits to your ability to choose caused by sin, hardwiring, and other people’s sins and inabilities, but you still choose yourself. You did not choose to be born, your family of origin, or where you were born. You do choose if you will stay where you were born and how you will handle relations, even messy family relations. You choose whether you will be honest with yourself about yourself and whether you are willing to be displeasing to yourself in order to become what you should be. You choose whether you will be honest about and examine the society of which you are a part. You choose to accept or reject illusion. You choose whether you will live an unexamined life. You choose whether you will take responsibility for your actions. You choose how you will handle your urges and desires, especially your anger and your sexuality. You choose whether you will give attention to and love God and God’s will or whether you will ignore God’s intent for your life and go your own way. You choose how and where you will invest yourself and what interests you will pursue, whether your life will focus on really important issues and relations or on temporary pleasure. You choose whether you will be self-centered. You choose whether you will invest in your own learning and hold yourself accountable for learning. You choose the people you allow to be models and mentors of your life. You choose whether you will have good will toward people, even if they do not deserve it. You choose how you will react to injustice. You choose whether you will live from a sense of entitlement and privilege, so that you do not function from any sense of justice and fairness. You choose whether you will blame other people for your failures and all that is wrong in life. You choose how you treat people. You choose what kinds of attitudes characterize your life. You choose how you will steward your body and to what kinds of abuses and dangers you expose it. You choose the communities—or at least some of them—that you allow to tell you who you are and that will be formative in shaping you.”

– Klyne R. Snodgrass

“For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren…”
— Romans 8:29

Who Am I? by Deitrich Bonhoeffer

Who am I? They often tell me
I stepped from my cells confinement
Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
Like a Squire from his country house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As thought it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I bore the days of misfortune
Equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself?
Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
Tossing in expectations of great events,
Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all.

Who am I? This or the Other?
Am I one person today and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
And before myself a contemptible woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army
Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Thou knowest, O God, I am thine!

“Just as we have borne the image of the earthy, we will also bear the image of the heavenly.”
— 1 Corinthians 15:49